It’s difficult when you have been a control freak your whole life to then hand that control over to others.
Even when I had my TOE and catheter procedure and was coming around from my anesthetic, it was a fight to get me to obey the medical team. The natural reaction to try to fight someone off who is trying to cut you open.
Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting to be “hung, drawn, and quartered”. I can relate to how they must have felt. The impending doom.
I have always been so independent. I hate putting myself in the hands of medical professionals. I have always been the one helping others. I hate leaning and relying on others. I have always been so stubborn. I will have to give up control, which terrifies me.
I bought a pyjama set for the hospital just in case i get called up. It has green vertical stripes and is buttoned down. Button-down shirts are supposed to be the most comfortable for open-heart surgery.
sindypiper8 